In this post I revisited National Adoption Month, sighting adoption as an option for children in foster care.
I was a disappointment, incorrigible, ungrateful, unappreciative, needy, defective, and generally hopeless, a throw away kid…written off and thrown away at 11.
What do I have to say about attachment? I am not an adoptee. Nor am I an adoptive parent. Me? I’m just a former foster child and the daughter of a former foster child/adoptee. I think I may have a thing or two to say about attachment.
Not one of these say thank you for:
Being there sometimes
For abandoning me when the only thing I need was a parent
For my 7 years in foster care
Visiting me when you didn’t have better things to do
Putting your wants before your children’s needs
Looking out for Number One
For making us number 2, 3, and 4
Occasionally sacrificing a little, as long as it was not too inconvenient, or make you too uncomfortable
Nope, not one of them…I know, I checked.
While we are all getting ready for this Mothers’ Day weekend and debate what makes one and who is a “real” mother, who we may or may not honor, what qualifies one as “The Bestest Mommy EVER!” Let us not forget that across this very country thousands of kids will wake up this Sunday in institutions and in the homes of strangers, and the recipients of their homemade mothers’ day cards and presents will be those temporary guardians or no one at all.
I am with Kristen on this one:
When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don’t have one. All of these petty wars about the choices of capable, loving mothers is just a lot of white noise to me, Quite honestly, I’m often astonished at the non-essential parenting issues I see moms getting their panties in a wad about. Particularly when there are so many kids in this world not being parented at all.
I’ll whine about how, when we called our Christian agency about a healthy African American boy from LA county who was in need of a home, we were told that they had no prospective adoptive parents willing to accept a placement of a black child. NOT ONE.
I’ll get behind complaining about how the government renames orphans and calls them "wards of the state", and renames orphanages and calls them "group homes", and how we collectively turn a blind eye to the fact that we have hundreds of thousands of children waiting for families in the US.
Let’s stop quibbling about what competent mothers are choosing for their kids, and step it up for the kids that don’t have one.
Please go read the whole thing:Kristen Howerton Rage Against The Minivan
Where Is The Mommy War For The Motherless Child?
I read this personal narrative by Jesus Montes (16 years old) over at Cindy’s blog Saturday morning, over breakfast…and since Saturday, been at a loss for words.
Please go read it! I mean it PLEASE GO READ IT!
For 10 years Jesus has been able to wake up in the same bed every morning.
For 10 years Jesus has not been hungry.
For 10 years Jesus has been able to have a school, a community and an advocate.
10 years in the same place is huge, for those of us how have had to stuff everything we own into trash bags and move on time and time again…we know.
The fact is that there will always be kids like Jesus…Always.
And those kids we need to continue to speak up, for those kids we need to fight for openness and honesty, for those kids we need to tell our stories. We owe it to them.
And whether Jesus, grows up one day to be an outspoken happy grateful adoptee or a reformer, I hope we can all respect him, and his story…
Because there will always be kids like Jesus…
Always.
